Why does our communication get worse under stress and pressure?

Alone in front of your mirror, it’s much easier to say what you want to say. The way you want to say it. But under pressure and stress, things change.
Our attention moves inward. We start questioning ourselves:

How am I doing?
Do I sound intelligent enough?
Do I sound important?
What do they think of me?
Am I making a mistake?
Is what I’m saying correct?
What if I fail?
What should I say next?
What if I forget everything?
Why are they not listening more to me?
What if they don’t like me?

Many destabilizing thoughts hijacking your attention at the same time.

The consequence:
The more fear and self-monitoring increases, the more presence decreases.

Instead of being curious, attentive and focused on the other person, we become preoccupied with ourselves.

This is exactly when communication gets bad.

If you want your message to land and create impact, your attention needs to be on:

the other person
the message
the moment
the relationship between you

Presence is not about focusing more on yourself. It is about focusing less on yourself. Whether it’s in leadership, on stage or on screen.